Searching for Balance and Trying to Get Back to Discipline Following Trading Guidelines

account balance 20090604
I don’t feel like to trade till the put option I sold expires and I am still holding OZRK. I don’t feel I like to trade options again. Many of the options are not liquid enough and I hate waiting. Of course I don’t have to wait and close my option position before it expires but I feel that makes me lost some profit that I have a very high chance to get. It seems to me once you are in a position to write options you don’t want to let go until it expires.

Anyway I don’t feel like to trade because I can not get back to discipline. I can not let go the thought to earn back quickly the $10,000 I lost before I started this blog. I am searching for a balance in my mind and I feel if I start again from a clean cash position say $30,000 then I may be able to forget about the past. I want to close out all the position and move out any balance in excess of $30,000 so that I can achieve the balance I am searching for.

Have you had the same feeling and did the same before or I am silly? My account balance is at about $31,500 at this moment

I did this right after I wrote this post. I can not wait. I sold ORZK at a lost of about $400. Close out the option position. The option position net about $200. I transfer out $1,427.25 and my account balance is at a whole number at $30,000.00. I have to give myself a fresh starting point
Clean Cash Starting Balance 20090604

With all the transactions above

Account Balance Change: -$1,427.25